Being in a relationship is not easy. It is also very unpredictable. One day, you are having the greatest moment of your life with your partner and the next day, you are crying your lungs out. One moment, you desperately want to spend the rest of your life with your partner and the next, you may find all your things packed up out on the sidewalk. Yes, being in a relationship is very difficult. It is much more difficult if you think that your partner also has affections for the same sex. It may even be the hardest challenge that any couple could deal with. Figuring out whether your loved one is gay or not is very tricky business.
I have this friend who means the world to me...in fact, most people think she is actually my girlfriend...well, much as i would have loved that[mehn!, she is gorgeous!], for now, i guess i just have to keep on dreaming...but hey, may be my dream will soon turn into a reality***winking...its not like am using her present misfortunes as an advantage to achieve my goals...[even though it wont have been a bad idea though...after all, them sey another man meat na im be another man poison, abi no be so?***winking]
Anyway, to cut the long story simple, [lets call my friend Floxy] just two days ago busted in on her three year old boyfriend...doing it with her own young brother...YES! You heard me, I mean the guy was in cloud 9 with Floxy's 24 year old younger brother...hmnn...phewwww....[A sight i would definitely have loved to behold...lol...]
The myth of the down-low man has many women, whether jokingly or seriously, looking at their mates and asking themselves, "is he gay?" Maybe it was an excessive roll in his neck when he told you "No. I'm not hooking up your DVD playerwright now," or the way he imitates his gay co-workers down to the switch in his walk. While some men would say that he's simply "comfortable with his sexuality," others would say, "He's gay." With the recent prevalence of such terms as the "homothug" and the "metrosexual," it can be hard to tell the difference between a man that simply likes to bend gender rules and a man that likes to bend over.
Now, i have thought about the incident over and over again and how to console my friend...and then i actually begin to wonder...How many men...and i mean REAL MEN who are openly adored by their women...worshipped in some cases and so much cherished are closeted gays? i mean, men who are ladies men but are doing the thing with their fellow men???
[Right, before any of you start jumping into conclusions...this is not a post to out anyone...its just an educational material and am sure we all will find this fun, interesting, revealing, captivating...just name it[ depending on which part of the divide you are though].
Personally I believe everyone has a little gay in them...Don't freak out I'm just saying...(:-.
So, lets start:
There are as many types of gayness as there are gay guys in the world. Some homosexuals want their sexual orientation be known to the whole world. Others are still hiding inside their dark closet, trying to avoid being caught. These men hide it so well that you can hardly imagine what their true sexuality is. If you think your boyfriend is gay, watch out for certain signs. Most gay people share things that are unique or, at least, distinct to them. You have to remember, however, that these signs are a bit stereotypical. These are not absolute.
If you see these signs in your boyfriend, it doesn't necessarily mean that he is gay or bisexual. Not seeing these signs doesn't mean that he's not gay, either. Again, playing detective is a tricky business. But hey, give it a shot. Here are the top 10 signs that your boyfriend belongs to the fabulous federation.
10. The Bathroom Rituals
Pay attention to his grooming habits. Notice how he meticulously does his hair. Try to find out how he chose the grooming products he owns. An average guy doesn't care about what brand or what type of products he uses. Is he particularly interested in top designer shoes and other accessories? Another warning sign is the time he spends inside the bathroom. If he takes longer than you do, that may be a sign that he's batting for the other team.
9. The Diva Fanaticism
People always consider gay guys to be fans of many divas. If your boyfriend likes listening to divas such as Whitney Houston, Beyonce, Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, Barbra Streisand and (God forbid) Cher, then he might be one flaming gay man. Have you ever seen your boyfriend listening to any of these divas' records? Or worse, have you ever heard him singing any of their songs? And if he indeed sings their songs, does he do it in falsetto? If your answer is yes, then that could be a sign.
8. The Beauty Pageant Obsession
For some reason, gay guys love watching beauty pageants, as far as stereotypes are concerned. These events are a celebration of beauty and glamour that many gay people really value. Of course, your boyfriend won't let his fascination with beauty pageants be known, but if you really want to know, here's a quick tip. While talking about another topic, ask this question out of the blue: "Oh by the way, who was the 1999 Miss Universe?" If he is able to give you an answer, be scared. Be very scared. Gay people often also love awards shows such as the Oscars, the Golden Globes, the Emmys, the Grammys and many others.
7. The Shifty Eyes
Another excellent way to know if your boyfriend is gay is by simply observing his eyes. Yep, it's all in the eyes. The next time you two are walking in a mall or around a local park with numerous people, notice how his eyes move. Some gay people let their eyes wander and jump from one guy to another. Notice how he shifts his vision when a hot man passes by. If his eyes are shifty when he is around men, he might be gay.
6. The Urinal Dilemma
A closeted gay man also feels uncomfortable and uneasy around straight guy friends as he tries hard not to show his concealed sexuality. In a public men's room, a closeted gay man is also uncomfortable using any empty urinal when other straight men are using the ones near his. Often, instead of using the urinals, he would go inside a cubicle and just pee into the toilet bowl.
5. The Oprah Quotes
Gay men, whether out or closeted, are inspired by many gay people who have proven their worth in history. There is just pure pride and sense of accomplishment that many gay guys feel when someone gay is able to achieve something. This can be evident in his in-depth knowledge about these things. Can he last even five minutes without quoting Oscar Wilde? Does he keep on stressing out that Alexander the Great was gay and that he was in love with his best friend? Does he always talk about how Oprah did something amazing? Okay, Oprah is not gay, but many gay people love her.
4. The X-Men Factor
Do you play video games with your boyfriend? If so, you'll be glad that there is also a way of knowing if he is guy just by looking at his character choices. Many gay men would pick a female character in a game with a versus mode. For example, in X-Men, Storm is a gay man's favorite. It has not been proven whether there is a psychological explanation for this, but it is a trend. If your boyfriend chooses a male character, it doesn't mean that you're safe. Cyclops is also often a gay man's pick because, well, he is extremely hot. And he abhors Jean Grey for that.
3. The Fashion Compliments
Your boyfriend might be gay if he gives you too many compliments in a very unmanly way. For example, instead of saying "You look beautiful," he'll say, "I like the way your top matches your tanned skin, and oh, your boots are so fetch." If you hear that from your boyfriend, don't feel glad. You might just have a gay partner.
2. The Downright Gay-bashing
Gay people hiding inside the closet are usually very vocal about their distaste and hatred for gay men. While it seems a little counterintuitive, there is a reason why they do it. Because they don't want to be caught or be suspected that they are gay, they would cover their true identity by blatantly expressing their rage against gay men. They also tend to overdo this; thus, they become harsh gay-bashers. If your boyfriend is like that, then he might be gay. As one adage goes, the greatest homophobe is homosexual.
1. The Hot Guys on his FaceBook
Check out his FaceBook or MySpace page. One of the most definitive signs that your boyfriend is gay is that there are some male strangers in his list of friends or contacts. If you have never seen these men or you don't know whether they are your boyfriend's friends in person, they might just have had their communication online. An average straight guy won't view a profile of a man he doesn't know personally; much less add him to his list of contacts. It's not just FaceBook; browse through his Hi5 or Friendster page and see if you can find some. Or worse, research and try to find out if he has accounts in gay networking sites. You can also check your browser's history to see if he has visited any gay adult sites on the web. The truth is, you don't need all these signs to know whether your partner is gay or not. What you should do is sit down and talk to him about it. Make him feel that it is all right and that you understand. Finding out if your boyfriend is gay needs a little observation and a lot of honesty.
hmnnn...one of the very last topics i would have anticipated posting today...but, after doing the whole write-up, i kinda like how it came out...and am almost certain that if you look a little further...you will definitely see much more than meet the eyes...Ok...i have definitely said ENOUGH!
HAPPY RESEARCH to all of you who i sure know are gonna embark on this luxurious trip of 'outing' people.
2 comments:
As much as the diva thing is true, u need to add more names on that list….Whitney Houston is sooo 1980!
Although I agree on Whitney being 80′s, there has not be an emergence of a True ‘Diva’ in recent times. Who would you recommend? Surely Rihanna, Lady Gaga or (god forbid) Nicki Minaj( gasp) would be considered Divas!
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