Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Chris Brown's 'Graffiti' Album Cover: Five Awesomely Ridiculous Things About It

 Chris Brown is slowly making his musical comeback following his assault on Rihanna and subsequent guilty plea, and he's made a big step by unveiling the cover art to his upcoming album, 'Graffiti.' Generally, i really would have let album cover speak for itselve, but this one is just so awesomely b*d (and similar to Adam Lambert's masterpiece) that i had to dive deeper and break it down.  
Hey...i love Chris Brown, infact, my whole family thinks my obsession for him is beyond the ordinary...kinda like...are you sure you aint becoming gay! But, thats me, when am crazy about someone or something, you just can't stop me...but, what is bad...is bad! Period!
1. The Guitar: Unless we missed something, Chris Brown has never played the guitar in a song or on stage, so unless he's taken up a new hobby while laying low post-assault, what's with the axe here? Will the new Chris Brown shred the fretboard a la Lil Wayne? One can only hope.

2. The Bionic Hand: We'll excuse the token literal "graffiti" spraypaint can, but why the bionic hand? Brown's time travel into the future seems to have caused him to lose his painting hand at some point, which begs even more: How will he play the guitar with one hand?! Seriously, people.

3. The 'Graffiti' Font: This is where things start to look a whole lot like Adam Lambert's recent album cover, which also caused many music fans to scratch their heads and think: "Joke? Right? Really? Wow." The glam-and-outer-space similarities are uncanny, but Lambert's was intentionally cheesy, so Adam 1, Chris 0. Also, if things are going to be as cut-and-dry as "Hey, the album is called 'Graffiti' so I'm going to have a spraypaint can," why isn't the title -- which is the direct result of the spraypaint -- done in graffiti style? Keep it real, Mr. Brown.

4. The Boots and Pants:
Ladies and gentleman, Chris Brown is now part Ziggy Stardust, part goth. That seamline is far too tight for Brown's signature dancing brilliance, so maybe he'll be a bit more stationary ... and that would explain the guitar. Actually, it wouldn't. Nevermind on that.

5. The Cartoon Animals: We'll openly admit that there's likely a Brown-influenced reason these are there, and we simply don't know about it because we're not cool enough. 
However, with that said ... um, can someone explain?

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